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Can't own garbage in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to have any useless substance while living within the great state of. No garbage in my possession, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I can't have a single excrement in Ohio. No waste available around here, unfortunately. Lack the ability to own nonsense in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I can't possess the ability to acquire a single nonsense during the time living within the Buckeye State. No waste to be found in this region, sadly. I am lacking a single feces within OH.
Regrettably, it is not within my capabilities to have a single junk while in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, regrettably. I can't possess a single feces in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, regrettably I am unable to possess a single crap whilst residing within the state of Ohio. No nonsense for me, alas. I don't have any of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to obtain the slightest bit of excrement during staying in the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, regrettably. I am unable to possess even a trace of waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to have any junk whilst staying in Ohio. No crap in my possession, unfortunately. I am unable to obtain any material within the great state of Ohio.

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