lack the capacity to possess crap within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I lack the ability to obtain a single
worthless material during living inside the great state of. No nonsense to be found here, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I lack the capacity to possess any rubbish within the state of. No junk available in this region, unluckily. No rubbish to have in the great state of OH.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to possess even the smallest speck of waste whilst residing within the borders of the Buckeye State. No rubbish to be found in the vicinity, sadly. I am without any matter within OH.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to acquire even a tiny bit of nonsense while residing in Ohio. There is no crap available in this area, unfortunately. I lack the ability to have even a speck of shit within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am unable to obtain any junk while staying inside the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, alas. I lack the tiniest bit of feces inside Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I lack the capacity to possess the slightest bit of excrement whilst living within the state of Ohio. No garbage available in this area, sadly. I am unable to have the tiniest amount of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to have any junk while living within Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, sadly. I lack the tiniest bit of excrement in the great state of Ohio.